Sorry for the lack of posts for last week, I was on a forced Internet vacation. I was onsite with a client where they put me up on-site instead of a hotel, and all internet traffic was uber-monitored. I didn’t even check personal mail, the security was so tight. Tight enough if a buddy sent me a nudie pic of a girl I would have been reprimanded. Opening a VPN connection to the outside world would have gotten me escorted off premises in handcuffs.
Now that I’m back to the normal world, I had some catching up to do. I met with my brother for breakfast, and an interesting conversation happened. He’s having girl problems. She has a teenage son from a fling when she was in her early 20′s, and they are now shacked up with my brother. She doesn’t pay squat for rent, health insurance, or most bills, but she does feed everyone off of her food stamps and pays for the electric and phone.
She has now decided that “She needs to find herself” and has broken up with my brother with the bright idea that they can still be roommates. My brother has been sleeping on the couch, or in his truck in below freezing weather.
Now that you have the background, here is how the conversation went. (WARNING: Crude language. This is how we really talk…)
Me: “So you two are broken up, but she is not contributing.”
Bill: “No, she pays a couple bills and cleans the hose all the time. Like I said.”
Me: “Bill your poor as hell, and your supporting that freeloading bitch because she thinks she may be a lesbian or something? As soon as she told me she wanted to break up I wold have told her to get the fuck out.”
Bill: “I can’t do that, she has a kid!”
Me: “So you have to support your ex-girlfriend’s grown child because of why? He’s not your kid, and therefore, not your responsibility. If you let them live there at least make them pay half of the rent and bills.”
Bill: “See you just can’t give anyone a break. You’re a cold-hearted bastard.”
Me: “There is a difference between giving someone a break and letting them fuck you in the ass and wipe their dick off on the tablecloth.”
Bill: “It’s not like that. Not at all.”
Me: “Really? What if she decides she isn’t a lesbian and brings home some swinging dick to fuck in your bed?”
Bill: “You don’t understand!”
I do understand. Maybe I am a bit callous when it comes to the end of a relationship, but I learned the hard way after my heart was abused more than once. Bill and this girl have no clue. They have yet to break through the “culture of entitlement.” She feels she is entitled to live there for free, and my dumb-ass brother thinks because she has a child that she is entitled to live there for free as well. This kid has never worked a day in his life. I started at the age of seven with a three mile paper route. I was working full-time in the summers at the age of nine. If he wants to do the roommate thing, that’s fine, but she has to carry her own weight.
I guess I’m a bit of a prick. Whenever I cohabited with a girlfriend, I ensured we both carried a healthy portion of the load. Some of my ex-GF’s were making minimum wage so I had them cover some of the bills, but leave them enough for spending money and clothes. One GF was utterly dependent on her dad for everything. I made her get a job – the first in her life – as a prerequisite to our sharing an apartment. She was pissed with me at first, and really pissed at me when I pointed out how much self confidence she had after a year of working. She never liked me pointing that out to her, even when I explained that the sexiest thing a woman could wear was self-confidence.
So my brother’s situation won’t change. He can’t get ahead because he has a misplaced moral obligation to support girls and thier children because they were in a “long term relationship” that ended because she’s confused. And before the comments start to fly, I could give a rat’s hoop if she is or is not a lesbian. I know some of my readers are socially conservative, but whatever. I’m in New England, and this stuff happens often enough. She could be using this as an excuse for a breakup or a change of penises, it’s irrelevant. If my brother would have the nut to set a move-out date, then this girl would be forced to evaluate their relationship, and her life, but because she has the free ride, she can have her cake and eat it too.
Humans will not change unless they are forced to. Unless, of course, they have broken their conditioning and have full use of their powers of reason. The other benefit of breaking of this conditioning is the give of perception. You can see the world as it is, free of the taint of other people’s influence.
That’s not a good situation your brother’s in. His ex-gf has realized that he’s a chump, so she’s looking for an upgrade while still using him – that’s my read on the situation. If/when he does get his body parts in order (head screwed on straight, spine in place, scrotum returned from ex [who's using it for a coin purse]), he needs to be very careful about evicting her. I’d have audio recordings at a minimum going. The most common complication would be her calling 911 and claiming abuse or fear, which would get him removed from his place. Then she goes and gets an order of protection, keeping him out. You’d have your brother on your couch, Natog, and I don’t think you want that.
Gas, grass or ass… No one rides for free!
” “There is a difference between giving someone a break and letting them fuck you in the ass and wipe their dick off on the tablecloth.” ”
Damn Nat!
Now that I’m done cleaning off the coffee from the monitor….
I’m still laughing my ass off.
Yup, too bad about your brother.
I’d be damned if my ass was sleeping on the couch in MY house, unless it was my choice.
Than again, I’ve been married for 16 years. Sometimes that’s a blessing.
“She needs to find herself” C’ya! And don’t call when you get there!
On a less simplistic note, remind you brother that even though they’re “broken up”, if wakes up one day and finds herself pregnant (regardless of who the sperm doner is), he can legally be sued for paternal support based solely upon the domestic, spouse-like environment he has willingly consented to.
Talk about ‘taking it in the ass’…
Such is the litigious society we live in these days…And no, I don’t want him on my couch!
A compelling reason not to live with folks before marriage.
Especially if they have been together for a long time (as in years) I could understand letting her crash for awhile till she finds a new place but it would be weeks not months. Your idea of setting a date is probably sound.