Posts Tagged ‘mental preparation’

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Family

Tuesday, April 10th, 2012

I was wrong. Family is not just a pain in the ass, but a pain in the head. I came within two inches of dying on Easter Sunday when my brother smashed a heavy ceramic mug just over my temple. Three staples, a ton of Lidocaine, and a partially shaved head later, I have re-evaluated my relationship with my brother… and my mother.

My brother has a lot of problems. One of them is I have never raised a hand to him in anger. I realize some of his bad behavior over the years could have been nipped in the bud by a sound beating. Too late now. I am not going to jeopardize my license to carry by beating up my brother these days. He is beyond hope and no longer in my life. Bill is bipolar, and has a slew of prescriptions that keep him on an even keel. Bill has made the conscious choice to alter his dosages and timing of medications in order to keep him “up” or “down,” — when he runs out of uppers. This is a classic failing of my brother – he thinks he is so much smarter than everyone else. That he is smarter than doctors at prescribing psychoactive drugs. It is because of his decision to modify his prescriptions that I will no longer have him in my life.

I understand that some doctor might not have all the answers, and more than once they have been flat wrong. My opinion is that they might not get the dosages perfect, but over time you work with your doctors to tweak meds to the right level. Everyone is different, and these things need to be fine-tuned to an individual. In other words the prescriptions are close, they just need to be continually evaluated as new drugs become available, and as his body adjusts to the medications and develops resistances.

A quick aside. If you think that this is not a condition that needs treatment, then you are wrong. He has been diagnosed with this for almost ten years, and I have been there for the highs and the lows. I suspect his early drug use is the primary cause for this, but I only have a single case as proof.

My mother has clearly chosen my brother as her favorite. Deep down I always knew this, but I never had to face it consciously. Sunday night I did a lot of thinking, and there was no way I was not going to re-evaluate my life and my relationship with those closest to me. My brother, Bill, has always been in trouble in school, with drugs and alcohol abuse, and a few run-ins with the law. He has dominated my mother’s attention, where I have always been independent. I do not blame her, I hold no negative emotions about this realization of an obfuscated fact.

Easter dinner started off normally, with my brother 45 minutes late. Ham, homemade Mac n Cheese, and asparagus. after dinner we had cheesecake and lemon pound cake with tea. This is when Bill started to “race,” very much like a meth addict right after a hit. He was very animated, and twitchy. He was mad at me because I did not pay him to watch my dogs ahead of time when I had to go down to Florida to help my mother clean out my Uncle’s condo. She is his guardian, and Bill had just gotten a job (after 5+ years of unemployment) and had no time available for vacation.

While traveling back and forth to care for my dogs, he got into an accident with a borrowed car. This is obviously my fault. From there the argument got heated, and he snapped and went after me. I’m a big guy, and I could easily keep him from hurting me. Mum claims that it is my fault because I was “egging him on.” That was round one.

Round two opened up when he took a swing at me and I easily deflected it and grabbed him by his shirts and collars and began lifting him off the ground with one arm. Adrenaline does wonders, he’s about 200 pounds. With my right hand cocked back I was going to drill him in his melon. He started yelling “Not in front of Ma.” I hesitated and let him go, pushing him away from me.

More yelling and I breached the unspoken taboo. I mentioned the fact that he has mooched over $10,000 of of Mum. He grabbed me again, and this time LTC be damned, I was going to beat his ass. Mum knew I was going to deck him, and was pulling on my right arm. When I turned to untangle my arm he smashed a heavy ceramic coffee mug over my head, just missing my temple.

Mum helped me stop the bleeding enough for me to drive myself to the hospital. Bill was crying and smashing things in the other room while we stopped the bleeding yelling he was sorry. Sorry he tried to kill me. I call bullshit. He is a moocher, right out of the pages of Ayn Rand’s Atlas Shrugged. He is my Enemy, and will be treated as such. I’m not going to ever go on the offensive, but there is no way I will let my guard around him for a split second.

In the phone conversations with Mum afterwards, along with how she didn’t even offer to drive me to the hospital has shown me exactly where I stand in this family. Mum yelled at me for antagonizing him, for mentioning how he stole all that money from her. How he did do a bunch of work around the house. To sum my mother’s position:

  • I am at fault for antagonizing him.
  • I am selfish.
  • He has a disease and deserves a break.
  • Blood is thicker than water.
  • I am acting like a baby, and need to grow up.
  • I don’t do enough for the family.
  • All I care about is money.

For anyone who has read the blog for a while you know that these are not true. One point I would like to discuss further is this idea that “Blood is thicker than water.” I have a half-sister somewhere in the area of Washington D.C. She is a blood relative, but has never tried to contact me. I have tried to find her, but she changed her last name after her mother, my step-mom, remarried after divorcing my deadbeat father. If she showed up on my doorstep, am I obligated to cause financial hardship to myself to help her just because she is a “blood relative?” For this thought-experiment, this would be a significant (for you) amount of money. Like everything in your bank accounts, and a cash advance on one credit card.

The reason is irrelevant. There are those who would say yes. There are those who would do it for a complete stranger, but I’m not one of those people.

Relationships are not forged by blood, but by shared experiences and more importantly, hardships. If your family is involved in your life, then there are naturally more experiences to build deeper bonds. But if they are distant, like in mine, then you wind up with closer bonds to your friends than your family.

If Bill felt blood was thinker than water, then the use of a deadly weapon on me, his blood brother, would never have happened.He has no regard for anyone else but himself, as demonstrated by his “drama show” to keep Mum’s attention on him, instead of the person in need of medical attention.

As part of your preparations, I urge you to review who you can  and cannot depend on now, before any crisis. I’m not suggesting you turn anyone but your inner circle away from your door, but to keep an eye on them and make sure they have a positive influence on your life. In the many crises we will face in the future, these outer circle friends and family might prove themselves and change in ways you could not even imagine now. But then again, there will be those, like my brother Bill, who need to be turned away now.

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Update – Time Management

Wednesday, February 8th, 2012

To stay on top of things with my now-hectic life, I have been doing some life organizational things. I’ve been keeping lists in Evernote of all the stuff that needs to get done. Every night before I leave work I gather a few of these tasks together and make sure they get done before I screw around.I mix things up between tasks related to prepping, home maintenance, home improvement, organization, cleaning, etc. so I have a varied diet of tasks, but over the course of a week a lot of stuff gets done.For example here is my list of stuff to do tonight:

  1. Replace security light in the back yard (15min)
  2. Vacuum den & kitchen (15 min)
  3. Mount USB hub. (30min) (I have a USB hub on my desk, I’m reducing clutter by mounting it with velcro and re-running the wires.)
  4. Vacuum dust bunnies while under computer desk (5 min)
  5. Strip the 3 dead pc’s for parts – recycle the plastic and metal cases (30 min)
  6. Collect all tax documents together (15min)
  7. Measure kitchen cabinet for plate rack. (5 min)
  8. Find the %&%^@# solar power book! (? hours)

I’ll bang these out after my workout, and fix myself some dinner while doing them. Not all of these tasks are the most critical. I pull a mix of tasks to keep banging through all lists, and I try to do a lot of the smaller items during the week. After I do as many of these as I can, then I study for an hour or so for my exams. then I goof off playing games or watching TV for an hour before I hit the rack.

For the weekend, I focus on fewer, but longer duration tasks. Like for Saturday, I have been putting off some car maintenance, but it looks like we are getting snow. If I can’t hit the scrapyard and fix the jeep, then I’ll have a list of other items to tackle, and schedule the jeep stuff for next week.

I have read not to beat yourself up for not getting all your tasks done, but to move them to the next day’s list. Likewise, if you can’t do a task, then it goes back in the bucket for later.Kindof like if you miss a workout, don’t moan about it, just do it the next day you can.

A friend reccomended making three lists of stuff to do, in lists A, B and C. the A list is the stuff you really want to do, and C is the stuff you have to, but don’t want to. What he does is he can’t do an A list item until he does 3 B list items, and he can’t do a B list item unless he does a C list item first. His A list is leisure stuff –watch a movie, or buy a gizmo he wants, or play Skyrim for an hour. His C list is stuff like pay bills or scrub his toilet. I don’t thenk the ABC list system will work for me, but I figured I’d share it in case you guys might like it. He also varies the ratios depending on how much stuff he needs to do.

I’m finding the trick to this is to have a good idea of what a task is. Recently, I completed a series of drawers and cabinets to store all the accessories, parts, and bits for my routers (woodworking, not network) and found I was making my tasks too big. Most of us would have task#34 “build router table” on their list when in reality I had to break it up into more manageable parts, like this:

  • Rummage through the workshop and collect every router-related item
  • Measure space under table saw for router dust collection, determine how to run dust collection
  • Figure out remaining space, and where I can tie into for support
  • Measure router bits and all accessories for drawer dimensions
  • Draw plans in Sketchup
  • Buy supplies (drawer slides, knobs, PVC fittings – dust collection, wax, 1/4″ ply)
  • Build bottom drawers carcass – for accessories
  • Build bottom drawers & mount with drawer slides
  • Build bit drawer carcass
  • Build bit drawers & wax runners
  • Build top tray drawer carcass
  • Build top tray drawers & wax runners
  • Load all the stuff into their new home

Originally, I estimated two hours for this task, but the project took well over eight. don’t get me wrong, this is a really nice storage item for the workshop, and my router bits are all in one spot and are no longer getting ruined by banging into each other and chipping the carbide. The point is that you should organize things into tasks and projects. Projects are then broken out into many tasks. This way while I was waiting for my drawer slides to ship, I could switch gears and work on other tasks around the house.By dividing bigger items into projects of many tasks, you can also get a better estimate of how long the whole thing is going to take, and you can plan your time more effectively.

I have created a project called “cleaning the house” where I list all the weekly stuff that has to get done around the house, and make sure I schedule them. I’m also making a list of the monthly items and make sure I get them all done during the month, fitting them in as time and weather allow. I probably make a list of the quarterly items we always forget to do and get them done as well. We are all guilty of forgetting to test the smoke and CO detectors, replace furnace filters, clean the dryer ducts, gutters, and so on and so forth. If it’s on a list then it will get done. Maintaining momentum has been critical for me.

I’m finding that interruptions are a major time sink for me. Entering a 5 minute task to do later in Evernote is kind of pointless, as it takes a few minutes to enter a task. I keep a post-it note handy, and jot things down as they pop in my head, but keep working on whatever I was doing. Then later when I am done with whatever I was working on, then I go over the list and bang them out right then and there. On my post-it note I have the following from this morning:

  • Call XXXX to schedule site visit
  • learn how to make potato pancakes (like chili’s used to make)
  • buy CA glue
  • Watch the Thinapp webinar
  • Call scrapyard to see how late they are open
  • buy whey protein
  • call XXXX and see if she is happy with Database fix
  • order vitamins
  • call XXXXX to talk VMware View for the labs
  • Add “fix sheet goods caddy” to tasks
  • build a coat rack w/ shelf for gloves & hats
  • order rare earth magnets
  • call in a favor from XXXXX to fix electrical
  • send email to XXXXX
  • fill out timecard
  • make reoccurring appointment reminder for timecard, and meds
  • dial into XXXXXX and check their event logs
  • send note to XXXXX to see if application slowness fixed

After I’m done with my next post I’ll go through these little items and bang them out. Then take a 5 minute walk and grab some grub. Once done w/ lunch I’ll take another task off of a list and work on that, sidelining interruptions onto the post-it note for later.

I just realized I have been doing the zero-inbox steps to all interruptions. Those are:

  1. Delete
  2. Delegate
  3. Respond
  4. Defer
  5. Do

Interruptions are the time killer, usually it takes longer to get back to what you were doing in the first place after an interruption than it would take to just do whatever bugged you. pay as little mind to them as possible and focus on getting the task done, then deal with them later on. Let that call go to voicemail, turn off e-mail and text message notifications during work. Close the twitter, facebook, and linkedin pages so they don’t draw your attention. Schedule time for e-mail, and going through voicemail. It’s hard to believe, but people can wait an hour for a response. Especially if you take the time to give them 100% attention for that e-mail, rather than half-assing it.

This Evernote app has been very helpful. While on break at work I mark the tasks to be done tonight with the “tonight” tag, then a saved search gives me a list of stuff to do. As I do each item I click the checkbox on my phone, and it’s marked complete.

Getting my brain wired to be more productive is a prep in itself. Not only will this make me a better worker, and help me stay employed with my current employer, this will help me a lot if I can do my own business. I also maximize my time, which allows me to do more with less. We preppers split our lives between what is and what may be. We live in the now, and in the future. We have a lot to get done, and not a lot of time to do it. This mental organization is allowing me to stay on top of my preps (the future) while keeping the present in balance.

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Organization

Monday, January 23rd, 2012

I figured I would spend a little time to show some of the tricks I have been working on in order to get myself more organized, and more productive in my work, my prepping, and my personal life.

I’m a big fan of Evernote. This program allows you to make notebooks and pages to keep stuff together. These notebooks are synchronized online, allowing you to have access to updated notes across platforms. I have it installed on my work PC, my personal computer, and my smartphone. Because it uses an external server to sync, I am careful of what I put in there, but for 99% of what I use it for it’s a brilliant piece of software.

I use it for several things. First, I keep track of all the web sites and hard-to-remember commands I use as a computer professional. I have a page where I keep track of what web articles I would like to read later, although I might start using another program ReadItLater for that. I have a Woodworking notebook where I put screenshots of project ideas, and various tips on finishing, tool restoration tips, etc. Another notebook has funny images I’ve collected.

There is a security hole I would be careful of. The data is not encrypted on the server, so if the server is hacked or subpenaed, your data is free for the world to see. The session between the client and the server is SSL encrypted, so man-in-the-middle attacks are not a big threat. I would be careful about what you store on the server, and take backups regularly. Just because the data is not on your computer means the people are backing it up and protecting it properly on their end.  I do not store accounts and passwords for my bank, mail accounts, or this blog on Evernote, my phone, or in e-mail.  Other accounts, like my login to a gaming forum is kept in shorthand. If you use my password scheme (here is the linky) then you can use this shorthand for accounts that are not super-critical. Use the first letter of the password syllable as a refresher. Keep the password syllables in memory, and never commit them to paper or any digital document to keep yourself secure. Also, don’t use the same password syllables for super important sites on your angieslist account or your online subscription to the newspaper.

This is more work-related, but I have started following a zero-inbox policy. This google talk goes over the whole thing in detail, and is worth viewing. The idea is to only check your e-mail on a set schedule, and process everything in your e-mail right then or there. If it is a small task then do it right then and there. If it’s a larger task, then schedule it. Otherwise delegate it to a minion, or trash it. I will be the first to admit this is really, really hard to do. As an IT professional I get between 100 and 200 e-mails a day during the week, and most people want a response right then and there. It is hard to resist the siren’s call, when Outlook has that little popup in the corner begging for attention.

Another thing I do, although not related to organization, is to let the phone go to voicemail when I am focusing on a task. Let it go to VM and deal with it later when your free to be interrupted. So hard to do.

I’ve looked at the “getting things done” system. It’s pretty famous and a few google searches should give you the gory details. I don’t think that will work for me, but I am going to steal the idea for checklists. I’m playing around with a few ideas that might work for me, but the gist of it is this: make a list of stuff you need to do, then do it. Sounds simple, but if it was that easy I wouldn’t be so disorganized.

I started on Thursday, and broght home a short list of stuff I had to get done before I studied for an hour then slacked off for the rest of the night. I did the same for Friday, and I have to say I’m pleased with what I accomplished. For the weekend, I picked a few larger tasks, with a lot of smaller ones and got most of them done. I’m working out the strategy and will update later on.

This Evernote is awesome for these lists. Make a notebook called “stuff to do” and add every item you want to do on it.if you tag these notes with tags for heir function then you can search and organize by these tags. I currently have the following tags: PREPS, HOME MAINTENANCE, WOODWORKING, WORK, CERTIFICATION, and FUN. If you include an estimite of how long it will take then when you make your list for the night or the weekend, then you can tailor your list for how much time you have. By using the “Saved Searches” function in Evernote you can have dynamically created lists… pretty handy. Eventually, I want to organize these to-do lists by importance, and urgency. This way I do the tasks that are most important and urgent first.

This is not the end-all one-size fits all solution for everyone. Heck, some people are naturally organized, but I’m not. As I make improvements I’ll share them so you get some ideas for your own use.

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The Struggle

Monday, January 16th, 2012

I’ve been struggling a lot of late. I’ve lost my way in several aspects of my life. Ironically, just as I got other aspects heading in the right direction, other things have fallen apart.

Physically, I’m doing a lot better. A recent trip to the doctor’s for my annual physical left  me scratching my head. I’ve lost over 4″ from my waist, which means a LOT more than that from my belly, and I’ve only lost 15# in the last six months. I’m pretty freaking pissed about that. I am a lot thinner, you can see it in my face, and wrists. I now bulge when I flex my arms, the biceps are getting there, but my triceps are going really nuts. I have deep cuts in my legs, the hamstrings are bulking up nicely, and the quads are getting defined. My back is getting bumpy, and the moobs are shrinking. My blood pressure, heart rate, cholesterol, etc. is all normal, or below. This always freaks my doctor out because I am well over what most would consider a healthy weight.

My diet has improved, but is not perfect. I’m getting fewer urges for junk food, or snacks at night. I had been having healthy snacks at night, to replace the ice cream I used to have. I need to cut back on the red meat, but it is hard to get motivated when you have better bloodwork than your doctor or your health-nut friend.

My sleep is all balled up. I’m awake too late, and I’m having trouble getting going in the morning. I’ve begun winding down early, about 1/2 hour before bed. Low lights, no TV, no computer, no hard mental activity. Still having poor sleep. I’m starting to do some Tai Chi during this quiet time this week and see if there is an improvement. I got to do something. I am so burnt out it is affecting me negatively in many ways.

I have an idea what’s causing this, but there is no much I can do to change it. I’ve been wrestling with a lot lately. I’m on my own these days. I have way to much to do to prepare and not enough time or money to do it. I’ve been having money problems, nothing serious, but I refuse to dip into the credit card. I need to focus a lot of mental energy on my career, and these certifications.  I’m frantic with the amount of work I need to do, and the lack of time I have to do it.

Balancing preparing for what may happen versus what you need to do if nothing happens is a reoccurring theme that I think we need to spend a little more time on. Right now, I have a list of preps to do that is well over 200 items long, and these are nothing really crazy. I also have a list of 75 or so items I need to do for my work career to do. I have hundreds of things I need to do around the house to make it better and more liveable. Examples include: Replacing the broken screen door, fixing the plumbing to the bathroom, replacing the flooring the front hallway, and making a welcome sign with my house numbers on it. (I still have the “old lady” one that was on the house when I bought it…) Then there are my hobbies that eat time and in return give me some mental stability and sanity.

There is too much for me to do alone, but I really do not have the time to do the dating thing. I’m on a few of the dating sites, but I am finding that I do not have the patience to wade through seas of bullshit. I need a woman who is independent, not a smothering,  bon-bon eating, Jerry-Springer watching, mindless, souless, tween in a 35 year-old-body looking for the ideal co-dependent. I rather be alone then deal with that crap. It is amazing how well these “women” camouflage themselves via messaging. I hate to use the term, “woman” because I think it insults real women when I use it. At least I sniff them out in a few minutes when I meet them face to face. The ones that have passed muster usually want nothing to do with a man on equal footing, they want some mindless boy-toy. That, or they see $ when they find out I have a house, which sets off alarm bells in my head and cools things down pretty fast. I have to laugh at this afterwards because I am underwater in my mortgage by about $65k.

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately about freedom. Normally, this isn’t a big deal, but I’ve been obsessing it lately – like a fat kid over cake. The idea is there, in the front of my mind burning like hot brass down your shirt. It doesn’t help that anywhere I turn I see the shackles binding me to this slave’s existence. Every time I spend money I can feel the weight of the taxation’s irons clasp my wrists like a drowning man’s hand. It is tax season, but it feels different this year, it is close and pressing, almost desperate.

I wonder if I’ve seen enough to begin getting that faint notion of what real freedom is, and my mind is yearning for it.  I don’t think I will ever experience what real freedom is, I will not have it in this lifetime. I need to move past this, for my own mental health, but putting this genie back into the bottle is proving to be difficult.

Emotionally I am drained. I’ve had a few situations come up that have taxed me. My brother has added a lot of stress in two paths – directly on me, and to me because I am supporting Mum. I am the support network for a lot of people. I don’t mind doing it, I see it as a moral obligation to give sound advice and emotional support to my friends and family. These days I have been doing a lot of supporting, without my own solid foundation to carry the weight. I have friends with marital problems, others dealing with parents with cancer, and others with job losses all relying on me to give them the support they need. Elementally, I’m earth, and this is the natural way of the friendships I enjoy.

I have my own problems and the pillar of rock that is my emotional stability has been cracked. I’ve lost a group of people who I thought were my friends. I’ve been ungrounded, I feel my connection has been cut. I’m now the only one in my circle of friends that actively prepares, and the “zombie apocalypse” jokes are wearing thin. I see the world unraveling, but the confidence of how and when it will actually happen and what to do about it has been shattered. It’s like I’ve lost my internet connection and don’t know what’s going on in the world.

To try to get out of this funk, I have been trying a few things. First, I’m trying to relax before bed so I can get better rest, and have more energy. Better sleep and reduced stress should get me away from the hobbies more and into more productive endeavors. Next, I am in the process of listing everything I need to do and organize those lists by category and importance. I will then focus on working off those lists, a little each weekday, and a lot on each weekend. To reduce financial stress, I will be recovering capital from anything I can and working on alternative ways to reduce expenses. Because looking for a partner is a time and money sink, I’ll deactivate my profiles and go back into a bachelor hibernation for another few months. After a few months I will re-evaluate my time and money situation and see what I have for options for dating.

I’ve been doing a lot of my hobbies (gaming,woodworking, etc.) in order to try to re-ground myself. I’m going to have to let these people know that my emotional support battery is getting low, and I need to have them carry themselves more while I re-charge. For me to share this with these people is way out of character for me. I just hope they don’t freak and get all touchy-feely with my emotional needs. I can take care of mI need to find others of like mind. Conversation and discussion will help recover some balance between the “real” and “prepper” worlds.

Once I can get back on track I will be able to regain balance between prepping and living. Then I have a very large personal project to tackle. I need to do about 100hours of work to research the possibility of having my own successful business. Then I have to do a lot of soul searching to see if I want to do it or not. It will be a lot of work, that is for sure, but by having my own business I can re-align my life to starve the monkeys while reaping some benefits. I’ll have more time and money to prep, but I will be tied to this area. I have to push this out of my mind, I have too much going on right now to dream of being my own boss.

I know there are many out there in a similar situation. We preppers lead two lives, and one cannot be the master of the other. This blog is an outlet for me to give back to the community. I am working on how I can do more, but that is the subject of another post – after I regain my footing.

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Signal to Noise

Monday, December 12th, 2011

I’ve been a regular listener to the Shrugging Out Podcast, and this post is stolen right from Pete’s brain.

One of the thing he does every podcast is to go through the news of the week and differentiate what is signal, and what is noise. This is a throwback to the early radio days when the ratio of a signal’s power (what you want to hear) to the background noise (interference) was important. The older transmitters didn’t have a lot of power, and it was (and still is) common to move to different frequencies to get your message through.

The context that Pete uses the SNR, or Signal to Noise Ratio, is when discussing news items. We have access to terabytes of information at our fingertips, the trick is to separate the wheat from the chaff. Then you can focus on what’s important, and not inundated with useless trivia that drowns out the information you should be focusing on.

This is where we can get spun into a frenzy, where we waste our time and energy on meaningless noise.  In fact, I think that the news agencies, and governments,  want us to be in a frazzled state, where we cannot differentiate signal from noise. Blind to the Truth and tired from our jog in a mental hamster cage, we are easily manipulated into a pattern of behavior that is not of our own choosing.

So how do we know signal from noise? Generally, you can’t without at least spending some time looking at it. Some general guidelines are any human interest story, entertainment news, sports, or advertising is noise. I love sports. I listen to sports radio a lot, and read espn.com. But I see it for what it is: entertainment. There isn’t a lot of information that can be gained from sports news directly, but there are nuggets of Truth that can be gathered obliquely from the news. For example, the billionaire investor that bought the NJ Nets is all noise, but he is getting politicians to use imminent domain in Brooklyn to force property owners to sell him their land at a discount so he can move the team from Jersey to Brooklyn. That is pure signal. For politicians to openly abuse imminent domain for the profit of a wealthy campaign contributor is a clear-cut signal that government no longer cares if it has the support of its constituents.

I spend about an hour or so reading and filtering information a day. I first scan the headlines and open the articles that require further review into new tabs on my browser. Then I go through each tab, skimming the article for a few key pieces of information:

  • Is it propaganda, and if so by who?
  • Is it all opinion or are there facts? What are their sources?
  • What are they trying to sell me?

With about five minutes invested I can then see if I want to read and digest the information. I have to say that 90+% of the news linked by preppers is noise. Many  are pure opinion from goldbugs trying to get us to “buy gold now” preferably from them. Quite a few are written to instill panic so we buy more supplies, usually from the sponsoring advertisers that are a click away. If an article has no sources, then I cannot verify the information is factual. If I cannot verify, then it’s only marginally better than noise, and easily discarded. Remember the messenger is part of the message, and influences the validity of the information.

Then there are the articles worth reading, reviewing and understanding, because you gain some information that is useful. There is not as many of these as there used to be.

So what are some of the signals I have found in the noise?

  • China is building up their military — their navy in particular. This is not a good thing at all, as there is only one other super-power, the US, and the only reason to beef up their army and navy is to either attack the US or defend themselves from US aggression. Either way, we are screwed.
  • The collapse of the Euro. The noise in this topic is off the charts, but if the Euro goes kaput, then the treasury will need the MOAT (mother of all TARPS) to keep the TBTF banks from failing.
  • Germany and the EU. Germany is key to the entire European Union right now, as they are the only ones who have a stable and legitimately growing economy. If they leave the EU, then the EU is toast. If Germany stays in the EU because of some deal where they get special benefits is a key thing to look for as well.
  • The Federal Reserve. The amount of money they print is inversely proportional to how long before the economy gives up the ghost. They more they print the quicker the common person will realize the ponzi scheme they are enslaved by
  • American Economy. Tracking the real inflation and unemployment rates is a good yardstick to measure how fucked we are. I also am watching the commercial real estate market as well as the glut of bank owned properties. All of this contributes to waking up the sheep, and kicking off a panic of near-biblical proportions.
  • The American Reich. The rise of the DHS, the militarization of our community police, and the TSA goon-squad are all inter-linked with the continued erosion of our rights. We willingly allow ourselves to be searched “for the common good”.  The question is whose good? Mine? Yours? Or is the “common good” a curtian behind which hides the men who would call themselves our masters? This is one of the barometers I’m using to see if the American people have had enough, and are ready to enact change. Using drones to track us like insurgents? Using TSA security checkpoints to find excess cash? These stories all signal the lack of concern the government has whether or not they have our consent to govern.

So read the news with one eye looking for the truth, and the other looking for who is telling the story and why. Filter for facts, and you will save your sanity for when the poop hits the fan, and things get real crazy.

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Tactical Homewrok Assignment #1 – Solution

Tuesday, November 15th, 2011

Here is how I solved the problem, and without looking up anything online or in a manual.

Because of the possibility of an attack, I would walk “point” between 50 and 250 yards out front, depending on how visible I was to Thor. To be effective, I need to trip an ambush far enough away so Thor can make the call to counter-attack or bug out. Communication between Thor and I would be done with hand signals.The other function of the point-man is to set the pace for the group.  About every 500 yards( or so) I’ll stop for a minute break to listen to the sounds of the area, and verify (with hand signals) the pace I’m setting is good.I’ll also let Thor know if they are being too loud and need to keep the chatter down.

The red arcs is the area each person is responsible for looking. The point man(or woman) cannot see everything, as they have a large arc to cover, each person in line is responsible for a smaller arc, but with a more detailed eye, alternating right and left down the line.

Thor is responsible for keeping me in sight and watching forward in case the point man missed something.

Sif’s job is security. She is responsible for watching our back end so bad guys don’t overtake us. She also is responsible for obliterating what tracks she can, without going too crazy. Her job is also to move up and provide overwatch when crossing “dangerous” areas.

Overwatch is a military term that basically means “covering your ass” in a tactical manner. So, if we were going to cross a bridge, Sif would move up to a position to the left or right of the group. As the point man crossed, Sif would be ready to provide covering fire if anything bad went down.  This way, we increase our protection when we need it. Heimdall would do the same for Sif so she could cross.

I hope this got everyone thinking. Give your team members specific jobs to do. Make sure everyone is on the same page. Watch out for each others backs. Make sure the non-combatants are aware of their tasks and how they contribute to the team.

There are improvements that can be made, like the concept of battle-buddies, and so-on, but that’s for another homework assignment. Please let me know what you think.

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Tactical Homework Assignment #1

Monday, November 7th, 2011

As I mentioned in an earlier post, here is your first Homework assignment for Tactics. The purpose of these posts is to help you get a better idea of what the thinking process behind good leadership is, and hopefully help you apply it after TEOTWAWKI.My goal here is not to turn every reader into a Special Forces Commando, but to give you an edge that many of the “bad guys” might not have, and bring your thinking to a level where if presented with these problems, you have thought of them before, and could either lead, or provide suggestions to the leader.

To add a level of realism to these exercises, each person has different skills that you, as leader, need to take into account when planning. Each person is represented by a cross hairs with each quadrant a area of skill that is applicable to the scenario. Each skill is measured like school grades, i.e. A-F. Preppers usually have some access to firearms training and range time, but that is no substitution for live-fire experience. One stat needs some explanation, Combat Mobility, where the stat is split if the person has a pack equipped with quick-release straps.These statistics are based on short-term, limited scenarios, an ‘A’ on alertness here doesn’t mean they are good at guard duty, it means they notice things better than the average person in the rush of combat or flight/fight.

I am not attempting to create the “prepper role-playing game” here, (use Cyberpubk,  GURPS or Twilight:2000) but give you some additional curve balls to have to think about.

Without further ado, here is your team:

The names are stolen from Norse mythology — I was going to use characters from movies, but it would get distracting.

  • Thor: Ex-army in his late 30′s, went to the Gulf War, but wasn’t on the front lines. Still fit, and has a FN FAL with all his old gear, including his combat webbing and ruck.
  • Hiemdall: Mall security guard who is a great shot on paper targets, but has trouble with moving targets. Armed with a AK variant.
  • Sif: She’s a local cop who’s tough as hell, used to work in the big city, but moved out to the country after the birth of her first kid.
  • Freya: the “Mom” of your group, she’s over 50 and rather doughy, but has a big heart.
  • Loki: Most of the time a pain in the butt, although, his pranks and Friday night comedy skits keep everyone’s morale high.
  • Odin: Grandfather to one of the people back at the retreat, was a cook in Viet Nam, and lost his left eye to a BB gun incident when trying to kill the squirrels stealing his bird feed. Works hard, but he’s pushing 60.

The Situation:

Something really, really bad happened <take your pick> and society has collapsed. your group is tucked away at your retreat safe and sound. You all made it through the winter, and have begun planting crops. Word has gotten around that there is to be a trading fair in the next town over, but the bridges were heavily damaged from the winter storms and heavy spring rains. Due to fallen trees, and the washed out bridges it is impossible to use vehicles, and too treacherous for the one horse you found in your fields after one snowstorm.

There have been attacks on small groups of travelers, between the two towns, but no one has figured out who has done it. Most people travel openly armed, and the only talk of government has been to try to hold local and county elections in July.  No one has bothered you at your retreat, but to be prudent you have been maintaining patrols and a 24hr watch.

Your group has decided to try to trade some stuff at the fair to get some items that are desperately needed, and Thor, Loki, Freya, and Odin are carrying most of it, but everyone has some stuff. This leaves you enough people at home to hold the retreat, but this is the only people who can go.

Everyone looks to you as the leader of this trip, and does what you say with minimal bitching.

Terrain:

The shortest route is a mix of country lanes (dirt), roads (pavement), forest and fields. Except the brush at the edge of fields, the route is fairly easy, with only a few hills. A large tract of state forest has to be crossed, and it is a old secondary growth forest with no underbrush under the tree cover, except occasional meadows or where a tree went down during Irene a couple years ago.

Homework:

Print out the picture and cut it up with scissors and place the people in a marching order. (Another option is to open it in Paint and cut and paste then into a new picture. Some hints:

1) What is each persons responsibilty?

2) How is communication handled?

3) How far apart are people walking?

Add more detail as you see fit. Might be a good idea to practice this at your next meeting.

Please let me know if you like this concept or not. Also let me know ways I can improve the blog, or information you folks would like to know.

 

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Funk

Monday, November 1st, 2010

I’ve been in a bit of a funk lately. I kinda just wish the economy would collapse so I could just get on with my life. It’s a dangerous thought, not in the collapse and the pain and suffering other humans will have, but that I have a mental lock that my life cannot continue until after the collapse.

That is complete hogwash. The point in these preps is to make my life survivable (better yet, downright comfortable) while the world falls apart around me. But the collapse might not happen. By all rights it should, and the nitwits in charge are doing their best to bring America into 3rd world nation status as fast as possible. But never underestimate the ability of the sheep to be dumb enough to fall for the snake oil peddled by our masters. The collapse might never come.

I took this job because I wanted a stable job while the economy is in shambles. I might have made a mistake. I’m an engineer, and this place is too frightened to spend a nickle. I can build a lot on short money, but I still need some capital in order to save the company some money. I’ve also been forced into a more manager role, and I’m no manager. I prefer to be a grunt. much easier that way. I am getting frustrated because the managerial stuff is getting in the way of performing my technical job.

The one thing the last job taught me is that it is not worth it. I’ve activated the resume and will see what happens.

So do not get trapped by your preps. Yes, the world could end at any minute, but that is no reason not to enjoy life. It’s certainly no reason to work at a job you do not enjoy. Life is worth living, we cannot lock ourselves in a bunker and wait for “the big one” so we can spring from our prisons and yell “I told you so!”

Get out and see a movie, play or concert. Go to an art museum. Have fun. I, however, need to go home and rake leaves and do chores. The weekend was great, as I got to go to the Patriots game yesterday. We booed the snot out of Farve when he left. Boston fans are brutal!

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Weakness

Tuesday, April 20th, 2010

I visit a tea shop every morning before work. I do not like coffee at all, even coffee milk as a kid. Now this is a fancy-schmancy tea shop with several hundred varieties of teas, and they always have six flavors pre-brewed and ready to go. They have a green, a herbal. and a black tea hot and another three cold. Every morning I get a large hot black tea, the guy working the counter knows my predictability and get it ready for me quick, as I’m always in a  rush, and I tip.

This morning was a different story. I am usually the first customer, but today there was a long line, about six people deep. I almost went up to the office to check e-mail and such and come back, but I kinda wanted to see what’s going on. Every one of these pampered, spoiled children (ages 17-35) had to have some fruit-loop concoction. Heaven forbid they had a “generic” “peasant” blend! No, they had to have a Chai with 1/3 skim and 2/3 soy milk, and was that 1% or 2% skim? And can you add the sugar before you pour the tea? That way I do not have to sully my perfect manicure swirling a stick in the cup.

I feel I showed exemplary self control not slapping the shit out of each and every one of them. The poor dude working the counter had to endure the most specific instructions on making a cup of tea. Not one of them tipped, they all paid with a debit card. Seriously, would it kill you to drop change in the tip jar for some dude who just put up with you making a 2 minute process into a 10 minute ordeal. What’s the next demand, making the poor guy stand on his head while doing it, or picking the leaves himself?

This isn’t the disease, it’s the symptom. We are soft, pampered. Not just from physical discomforts, but from emotional and intellectual discomforts as well. How do you ask?

Let’s start with the emotional coddling that’s going on. Political correctness has determined we are not to use terms that may be offensive culturally insensitive. Calling someone a cocksucker is disrespectful to homosexuals. Implying your buddy has a vagina because he’s too much of a pussy to talk to the cute girl across the bar is insensitive to women. Take one look at the “emo” movement where the hypersensitivity to everything has turned bright young minds into self-loathing, spineless, pond scum. We interact with the world at large through electronic means now, rather than face to face, this provides an insulating layer between us and the crazy outside world. Just as work (i.e. pain) toughens our hands so we grow calluses, we form emotional calluses when we interact with the brutal world around us.

Next time someone is really angry in public (odds are it will be Mayberry or myself) watch how the crowd behaves. They turn, and walk away, as they cannot withstand so much emotional energy being released. They cannot be bothered to get emotionally involved. Like at the teaparty rallies, there is a buffer between the “average” person and the protesters. The “average” people don’t want to get too close, they might “get involved”.

Physically we are weak. We might be stronger and healthier as we go to the gym more and so on, but heaven forbid we have to use a manual handle to roll down the window or have cloth seats sans buttwarmers. Take the average gym rat and ask him to sleep on the floor for a night, never mind on the ground outside, and watch him piss and moan. Oh my, the air conditioning is not on and it’s 75 degrees in here! Or it’s 60 degrees in here and I cannot be bothered to put on a sweater. The next 10 people you shake hands with, feel how they have no calluses. In my field, it would be the next 1000, being a computer geek. Even at the end of the summer, when I have a few small calluses form yard work and woodworking, people comment on how “tough” my hands are. Shit, Before I became a computer box-jockey, I had calluses so thick I could hold boiling pots without a towel or potholder. I almost never got cuts on my hands. Now, I get papercuts I am embarrassed to say.

Finally, we are no longer intellectually challenged in a meaningful way. We are given our point of view by some talking head on the boob tube. We get to run around and follow the crowd. Baa! I want the Prada handbag because Vogue says I need it. Baa! Mike Row says I need a Ford Truck. Baa! This website says that the end of the world is in 2012. Baa. Baa. Baa. I’ll vote democrat. Baa. I’ll vote Republican. Baa. Some nutjob killed people with a gun, so guns are bad. Baa. I need to see an asshole so I can follow it. Baa.

I offer for you to reject that which does not make you think. Read a book, go to the museum. Talk to a stranger about a topic. Learn a new skill. Use a pencil and scrap paper instead of a calculator. Maybe the rates of dementia and Alzheimer’s are going up because we don’t use our brains, not because of all the chemicals.

Use it or lose it is what I like to say. If you do not use your education and skills, you lose them. If I do not play a first-person shooter for a month, then when I pick it up again I get my ass kicked.  It cracks me up to watch people panic when I buy something and pay cash, then give them $20.05 when the purchase was for $9.55. Brings a smile to my face every time.

I have two examples of how this weakness has changed our society. First, we are moving more and more towards a collectivist State. Secondly, in a more personal level, it is how we deal with bullies in school.

Why is a Collectivist State a sign of weakness? Simply because the average person no longer needs to think. Don’t have a job, then the state will provide. Can’t work hard enough to get a better apartment, then the wealth distribution system will improve mine. The nanny-state is exactly that. It’s a care system for those who no longer think, no longer feel, and no longer want to work as hard.

Children will always bully each other. I have always looked at schools as prison. They best way to be left alone is to find out who the bully is in the first week and beat the absolute snot out of him. That way no one will fuck with you. I was tormented by bullys, and my mom, the half-hippy, tried to have me turn the other cheek and so on and so forth, but until I snapped and just about tore the kids throat out nothing changed. After that, the whole pack would eyeball me, and I would ask “Is there a problem?” they would mosey on. It’s a brutal life lesson that in today’s society I would have been locked up as “mentally unstable” and the criminal, the bully, would have been the victim.

Intellectually, we know that the only way for some lessons to be learned is by negative reinforcement. Burn you hand on the stove and you know not to touch it again. There are some children that simply do not understand some lessons until they get a spanking. I could go into detail, but the boy knows there are two boundaries, there is the “time out” boundary, and there is the “beat your ass” boundary. He doesn’t cross the latter too often.

Emotionally, we feel that this bully is acting out in response to some other emotional trauma. Maybe his own insecurity, or whatever. Maybe his dad beats him for no reason at home. We could almost excuse his behavior. Almost, but not quite. The bully needs to man up and find help, or deal with the occasional consequence of an ass-beating by a former victim. I do not care what the psychologists and psychiatrists say, some people are not made evil, they are born that way. Some people don’t learn social behavior until it’s knocked into their skulls the hard way. I’m not saying to beat your kid, what I am saying is that you, as a parent, need to discipline your child, and if “time outs” don’t work, then there needs to be an escalation of punishments until one that works is found.

I will never forget the look on that bully’s face when I popped him in the mouth. He was afraid. Fear is what all the mindless sheep have. They have become so fearful of pain, that that fear has now migrated to discomfort. Fear of rejection by the pack for not having the right hair, the right car, the fashionable handbag, or having the “correct” spouse. Think FEMA or God, or the damn tooth fairy will save us and we do not have to think about all the bad things that can happen. We preppers have faced some of our fears. Fear of starvation. Fear of losing our homes. We, as humans grow by facing our fears. I grew a lot that day on the schoolbus when I faced one of my bullies.

One of my favorite movies is Pleasantville. The changes and acceptance of those changes(i.e. growth) of the citizens of that town is a direct parallel of what our society will need to go through. Plus, it’s a great story, just pay attention to the first thing you see – “Once upon a time…” Every time I watch it, I get a little misty when the malt shop guy (Jeff Daniels) looks through the art book.

Enough about the movie. Face your fear. Understand what the difference between pain and discomfort. Endure discomfort and master pain. It’s time to get tough.

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Now Is The Time For Wisdom

Monday, April 5th, 2010

As I was posting a comment on Mayberry’s blog I thought up this great title. This is a time for wisdom. I guess I’m getting older, as I’m not as hot-headed as I once was. Or am I? Actually, I think my passions burn hotter, but I’m not as impulsive with my tongue or my actions as I was 20 years ago.

We are in for very difficult times. Even if we suffer an Argentinian-style economic collapse, every one of us and our families will suffer through a transition that they are not ready for. Even we preppers cannot be fully prepared for these changes, all we can do is be better prepared than the average person. No matter how much gear we buy, how much training we get, how many guns or food or water we buy, we will not be fully prepared for whatever comes our way. We need more than kit, we need our brains and brawn to overcome these challenges.

I’m not saying we can use a altoid-tin survival kit and our preps are done. It’s the other way around, we will never be done prepping. There will always be another item to buy, another sale on canned veggies, or another weapon to add to the arsenal. The hardest part is to do it wisely.

I have my heart set on a new pistol I saw. It’s a Kimber double-stacked .45 with (3!) 14 round magazines  that’s mass legal. It’s $1000. I also want a bolt-action Savage .308 in stainless steel for hunting. It’s $600, plus 300 for the scope. Instead, I’m getting the brakes done on my jeep, and buying a food dehydrator.

Likewise with my mental preps, I could be freaking out about every news item about the economy, the Collectivist-Statist-Altruistic takeover of the united states, but I’m trying to keep a level head and prep. I’ve managed to put aside some $ for another mortgage payment, so now I need to add to it until I have a full months worth of bills and living money. Then add until I get 3 months. I wrestle with how much silver I should have, vs cash on hand.

So, be wise with your actions. Plan on not having any time, so make the most of it. I have a pistol and rifle already. I do not have a good way of putting food up for 20 years+. That was an easy decision. Now is not the time to fret and worry. Although things are on the verge of going to hell in a handbasket in a hurry, try to be calm and relaxed. You will have plenty of time to freak out later.

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